Christmas for many of us is something we dread as much as we look forward to. Crazy weather, family politics and social commitments can be a cumulative drain. Drawing boundaries on your time and energy is the key.
End of year introspection:
With the year drawing to a close, it is natural to stop and contemplate the year. Most people’s bucket lists don’t include illness, endless doctors, tests and treatments. It can look even more depressing when compared with the successes and adventures of people you catch up with at Christmas.
Keeping in touch with some spoonie friends online through this time can help keep you grounded. People really don’t get it unless they have lived through it.
- it is OK to be at where you are at
- you are doing the best you can
- baby steps are still progress
- setbacks and relapses are an inevitable part of the healing journey
Drawing boundaries with family politics
Christmas seems to really bring out the worst in toxic family members. No matter how ill you are, there seems to be someone that wants to lay a guilt trip about you not having had children, bought a house or gotten a PhD yet.
Putting healthy boundaries up with toxic people means being OK with being cast as the bad guy whilst they play victim.
Toxic exes
Notorious for popping up out of the blue this time of year! When they find themselves lonely and horny at Christmas they have a way of “just wanting to say hi”. Many of us have been cheated on or traded in for another because of health problems. It can be a huge jolt and bring back a lot of emotions. Despite what they will tell you, it is not immature or petty to tell them you are not interested in keeping in touch. (Pre-emptively blocking is a great idea.)
Priotitise time and energy expenditure
- Prepare beforehand where possible (eg. Mass cooking and freezing meals, start packing a week or two before travelling so everything you need is clean and ready to go)
- Write a travel list (great for brain fog). Good for the miscellaneous easy to forget things eg. phone chargers
- Murphy’s Law: Christmas shopping always takes longer and more energy than you think. Start early!
- Don’t let yourself get guilt tripped into pushing past your energy levels.
- Schedule in rest times between catch ups. Being out of routine often increases symptoms so you may need more recovery than usual.
- If you are at a gathering and fading, don’t be afraid to excuse yourself to leave (when you first arrive tell people you can only stay an hour or two, people are generally more accepting if pre-warned).
- I take mini breaks. I pretend I have to return a call and go outside (or even hide in the loo!!) for a few minutes just to get a break. I’ll often go outside “for fresh air” or into the next room to say hello to the pets.
- Get horizontal. 5 minutes of laying down time is worth 15 minutes of standing quiet time
- Trust your intuition. The joy of catching up and feeling like living a normal life for a while is often worth pushing and a little payback. But don’t crash yourself. You know where your limits are.
- Have fun, be happy, have a great Christmas. All the best for a bright and healthy new year.
May your 2020 be the year of the badass!
Your thoughts?