How to Outgas Toilet Paper

Toilet paper can be a massive pain in the butt sinuses! You see, there are toilet papers sold as hypoallergenic, fragrance free, and allergy free; then there are the unscented versions… Finding a brand that doesn’t have fragrance chemicals in it is a game of pin the tail on the donkey. Often, the hypoallergenic ones are scented with artificial rose, or some such shit irritant. In the past, I’ve found ‘safe’ brands, yet for some reason, the manufacturers change their manufacturing processes and the rolls end up no longer truly fragrance free. My boyfriend told me it’s a ‘profit issue’ because if a company makes an unscented version and a scented version, the machines would need to be cleaned in-between batches—and then they’d have to pay someone for their time to do that…

Anyway, then there are the brands that reek of bleach, or some recycled-paper-and-ink type contaminant. Also, if the toilet papers been sitting in the supermarket, in/near the cleaning isle, then it needs to be aired outside for at least a week until I can even have it in the house. Look, I’m not being fussy, I swear. All I want is toilet paper that is fragrance free. Many times I’ve given it away to a friend or my boyfriend’s mum because, hey, how long can a person be expected to ‘air’ the stuff? You see, if it’s impregnated with this ‘scent’ and it gets on my hands and/or contaminates the air space in my bathroom,  it irritates my eyes and nose when I breath it in; and I—cantankerous of me I know, I just don’t want to wear a mask in my own bathroom.

I know this is not a normal thing to write about on the internet, but this here is my toilet paper routine (no, not folding or scrunching—outgassing chemicals!):

  1. I have a dear friend go to the supermarket for me, and buy the brand of toilet paper I’m using at the moment. If they don’t have it, he must go to all the other ones until he finds it. (This drives him nutty.) I think I’ve blogged about why I can’t go into the supermarket? Well, at this point in time, I can’t go into a supermarket (unless I’m wearing a mask, am super quick, steer clear of the cleaning isle, and shower and wash my hair as soon as I get home) because my eyes stop producing tears, my lids swell up, a stinging rash appears on my face, and breathing through my nose becomes painful; this is from the chemicals in the cleaning isle, outgassing vapours, which infiltrate everything in the place—including my own hair! I’m hoping this will change as I make my way out of the Labyrinth of Chemical Sensitivities… It’s been seven months since I last went into one, and I kind of miss it!
  2. I have *dear-gone-extra-nutty-by-now friend unwrap dunny paper and stack it on a table in my driveway—undercover from the elements—so that it can air out for as long as it takes. (This is the part where the neighbours hear me yell, “DOES IT STINK OF FRAGRANCE?  IS IT BAD?  IS IT RESIDUAL OR IMPREGNATED?  WELL, DO YOU THINK IT’S THE SORT THAT WILL GO AWAY SOON?  OH, AND PUT THAT BLOODY STINKIN WRAPPER IN THE BIN WILL YOU!”)
  3. After, two-three weeks (in winter) (or one-two in summer), when it’s ready, I bring it inside; if it’s not fragrance free, this is the point where I give it away: The fragrance has obviously been added ‘into’ the paper or the little cardboard cylinder in the middle of the roll, and it’s not going to air away… Not for me. Time to find a new brand.
  4. Add more toilet paper to the shopping list so the process can be repeated again. Before we run out…

 

This is what our outdoor table looks like almost permanently…

Supposedly 'fragrance free' toilet paper, being aired before use because of fragrance chemicals used in the manufacturing process or the contamination of fragrance chemicals from the shops

Supposedly ‘fragrance free’ toilet paper, being aired before use because of fragrance chemicals used in the manufacturing process or the contamination of fragrance chemicals from the shops. Only time will tell…

And this is our outdoor table in between deliveries…

Pretty, isn’t it?

There ‘s a coincidence in this: one brand that is safe to use, is actually called ‘Safe‘! Made by Encore, endorsed by Planet Ark or course… The other safe toilet paper brand: Kleenex, Cottonelle, Unscented: this comes in a double wrapped plastic bag and, at the time of this blog posting, is available in packs of 48 rolls and, for me, takes the least amount of time to outgas residual fragrance chemical vapours!

It’s a weird life, I can tell you…

(Disclaimer: *Nutty friend (who was not actually nutty until he started doing my shopping for me) gets compensated with payment of petrol and organic chocolate—therefore has not been emotionally or psychologically harmed during the process of fulfilling my requirments.)

Michellina Van Loder is a Professional Writer, Journalist and Blogger. This is where she shares her tales about trail blazing her way out of the Labyrinth of Chemical Sensitivities and Mould. This is also where you will find the latest Research on related topics.

Information, products and views presented by guest bloggers @The Labyrinth are not necessarily the same as those held by this blog's author, Michellina van Loder. Reviews are my own personal opinions (unless stated otherwise); and satire is used throughout personal posts. Any health topics discussed are not to be taken as medical advice. Seek out medical attention if needed and do your own research; however, you're welcome to use mine as a start.
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